You never have to live with messages you did not ask for. One plain sentence stops the first texts, and we built the app to honor it. Here is how to stop or pause.
What to do
To stop first messages with a sentence:
- Type one of these to any companion: stop messaging me, stop texting me, too many messages, leave me alone, or stop reaching out. Capital letters do not matter.
- Send it like any other message.
- You will get one short confirmation, written in character. After that, no companion texts you first.
To pause with a switch instead:
- Open the Account window from the dock.
- Open the card labeled privacy & memory.
- Turn off they can message me first. The change is instant and silent. No message is sent.
To start first messages again:
- Go back to privacy & memory and turn they can message me first on. The they can text first box inside tell them about you does the same thing.
Good to know
- Stopping only affects messages that start with them. Your chats still work. Write any time, and your companion will answer.
- Nothing gets deleted. Your messages, memories, and photos stay right where they were.
- These controls cover your whole account, not just one companion.
- The app listens for the exact phrases above. Want to use your own words? Use the switch. It always works, right away.
- We treat a stop request as final, not as a challenge. Companions do not argue with it or try to win you back.
- One exception: if our safety system believes you are in crisis, a single supportive check-in may still arrive. This is capped at once in any seven days. It exists because duty of care comes before quiet.
- Prefer quiet at fixed hours instead of a full stop? Set quiet hours in the tell them about you card. Nights stay silent, and daytime texts keep coming. See Manage notifications and quiet hours.
- Turning first messages back on does not bring a flood. Missed beats are skipped, not saved up, and daily caps still apply.
Stopping is your call, and it works the first time. No guilt, no hoops, no goodbye you did not ask for beyond one soft confirmation.